I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
