GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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