Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
