Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
