Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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