We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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