a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I faked an abortion last night.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
