Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
