is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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