two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
