allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
