My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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