my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
