i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
We're too hungover to prance.
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