we're blogging at a bar
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
