he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Fuck appropriateness.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
