So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
