I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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