Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
