oh god the rape fog is back!
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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