Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
