she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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