I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
