It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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