It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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