Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
