i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
