Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
did i just pee glitter
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
