i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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