she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
