I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
