dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
