Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
