Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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