just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
