I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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