I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
