He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
he fucked my hip out of place.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
