Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
