My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
