I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
