I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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