Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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