Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
