At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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