I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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