I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
