Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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