My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
