I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
